On Friendship

I had a discussion the other day with a friend of mine about getting older, and about how one of the hardest things about aging might just be figuring out how to navigate friendships as lives change and people grow and move forward. I've thought about the idea of friendship a lot- it's a topic that's been on my mind often over the past couple of years and for good reason; I think the shift in relationships as we figure our own selves out is fascinating. 

Growing up I'm sure I was like a lot of you, always surrounded by people, busy busy busy- my friends were my world. Ups and downs, my friends were the ones I went to, vented to, made a part of my everyday life. And as I got older I started to distinguish between the different kinds of friends I had formed relationships with. There were school friends, "best" friends (a term I sorely overused), work friends, sorority friends, party friends. And one of the things I really learned over the course of 10 years in my 20s was that it's okay that not all of these groups of people are my closest friends, and really, spreading myself so thin caused me to never give 100% to anyone.

And the most recent revelation- no relationship will ever fit into a box. Just because I have an idea of how something should be, doesn't mean that it should be that way, or will be that way. The kinds of friendships I had at 16, 18, 22...those are now just not possible. I don't have the time to sit and talk on the phone for an hour, or see the people I love a few times a week. I wish I did, but when I do have a free hour so many other things need to fill it- household duties, writing, emails. And so with these life changes my friendships have changed and in turn, become redefined.

This was hard for me to understand for awhile- I used to get sad that I felt so disconnected from certain people, and often felt guilty that I wasn't being a great friend. So many things change relationships- an infinite amount of things- and part of accepting that things wouldn't always be the same was accepting that I was changing too.

It's a weird thing, growing up.

And now at 31 I have a very small handful of people I consider close friends. And that's okay. A few I talk to daily, via text or a phone call here and there. Then there are the handful I might not talk to every week or even every month, but there is never weirdness. We all accept that our lives our busy, and there is no guilt, no resentment, we are happy to spend time together when we can, and all there is is love for one another when we do get to connect. And I think this is the secret to successful friendships, at least for me- the idea of quality of quantity. Of course I mean this in the obvious sense- one great friend over five not-so-great ones- but even more so in time spent. Sure, I might only get to see a close friend once every six months, but when we do get to spend time together, that time is precious and wonderful and so full of US. Less time, but BETTER time.

So that's what friendship is for me right now. Making the most of what we have. Trying to do the best we can, and when we do get to connect, making sure that time is of the best quality. Accepting this, and each other, for the very separate lives we all lead, and knowing that just because we aren't able to see each other as much as we'd like doesn't mean that it has to change the way we feel.

Whatever your age, where are you at right now in your friendships? Do you have a ton of solid pals you can count on for everything? Or a handful of close friends? Are you in yours 20s or 30s? How has friendship changed for you over time?

So many questions. Can't wait to read about your experiences.

xo

Weekending

This weekend was a quiet one, full of meals at home and little art projects with Henry. I was gone for four days last week, and when I returned home from my trip I swear, Henry had doubled in size. I always feel like that- that when I am away from him for even a night, he seems so different. It makes me sad but also kind of marvel at how quickly he is changing.

Yesterday was Father's Day, and I know that it's a common thing to say "oh, my guy is the BEST Dad," but really...he is. I could write pages on how neat it is to see the person you love come into this whole parenthood thing. When you've been with someone for close to a decade and for almost all of your twenties, it's really strange/cool/wonderful to be able to look back on everything and then quickly snap back to where you are. When we first met, who would have ever guessed we'd be right here, right now?

Some favorite parts of our weekend: the Farmer's Market on Saturday and Henry buying his own cookies with his "own" money, the juiciest nectarines in the world, making the ugliest yet most delicious pancakes ever (you can kind of see them below), doing a whole lot of glorious nothing at Henry's request on Sunday, and feeling like Henry and I really gave Hank a great Father's Day.

I hope you had a great weekend too! 

Henry, 23/52 and 24/52

"a portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2013" 

23: the first front yard sprinkler session of the summer.

24: Henry's morning: breakfast blueberries still on his face, bed head, books and pjs.


See previous portraits here.  
This is a part of the 52 Project from the Che and Fidel blog.

Weekend Links

Flashback...Saturday? This photo was taken almost a year ago to the day!

It's crazy how much changes in 12 months- Henry looks so little!

Heey! So I haven't blogged since Tuesday. Pretty weird for me but the little break was nice. And I didn't have anything to fill those days with while I was in Seattle, so instead of half-assing it, I decided silence was better. But I'm back and I'm brimming with posts for this next week. First though, weekend links!

The wonderful folks over at ReNew Life sent Hank, Henry and I over some high potency probitotics from their to try over the past month. If you're not familiar be sure to check out this video, but also know that probiotics help with digestive health and your immune system. I've always taken them, but never ReNew Life's Ultimate Flora line, so I was excited to try something new. On my bottle it mentioned that there were yeast-balancing properties in it, even outside of the normal amount a probiotic would typically give you, which I like, because I've always felt that any acne I get is related to that. Over the course of the month my skin totally cleared up which I attribute to my pregnancy hormones regulating, but also the extra dose of balancing probiotics. Hank and Henry regularly took theirs too, and I was pleasantly surprised that Henry would ask for his everyday. The kids' version is a chewable supplement and H loved it. I definitely would recommend this brand to anyone looking to add a probiotic into their supplement regime, and you can visit this link for a $3 off coupon too! You can find them at any major health food retailer or via their website. Awesome.

This video of Yosemite. Just wow. Then check out Sarah's amazing Yosemite photos, where I found the link to the video.

Download 60 free history courses from great universities. So cool.

My new favorite Etsy shop.

I love The Glow, and I love this particular feature. 

Patton Oswalt: A Closed Letter to Myself About Thievery, Heckling and Rape Jokes.

This video made me laugh. A drunk wife and a creative husband.

Love these baby blankets.

What a great summer bucket list! Super inspiring. 

"I felt really bad for someone who is swimming in so much hate."

Have you checked out Cave Girl Consulting yet? Great prices for great services.

Archaeologists recently discovered a lost city in Cambodia. 

This strawberry-cilantro-coconut smoothie looks great. And how about these watermelon bars?

When your little girl asks you if she is pretty...

Ah! Thank god I'm pregnant because if not, I'd have an extreme case of baby fever from this post.

How great are these keepsake pinwheel cake toppers? And how about these arrow necklaces?

All adventurous women do. Love the show Girls and this made me smile.

Etsy wishlist: this lovely print, so many of these simple, pretty cards, and these bowties for boys.

And a non-Etsy wishlist: this skirt, this phone case, and these sunglasses.

A Guide to Eating Very Particular Feelings.

Mommy Blog or Glossy Fashion Magazine?

And finally, 25 Reasons Why Adulthood Doesn't Suck, found via the fabulous Tracy.

He is mine. And I am his.

You know what I'm especially grateful for? That even when I'm having a sad day, the kind of day where you wake up just feeling blue, there is that smile. And that laugh. And I know that no matter what mood I wake up in, what side of the bed I find myself on, Henry is waiting for me to come get him, to do all of our everyday things, breakfast and books and trucks and trains. And even when that bad mood still might not shake off right away, and I am snappy and impatient when he's trying to do things in his own time, he just looks at me with those big brown eye with those long, dark lashes, understanding so much more than I give him credit for, and says "Mommy, are you okay? Here, let me get you my favorite alligator! That will cheer you up." And guess what? It always, always does. And that's what I'm thankful for. For this little sunshine beam of a boy, this child who I somehow have the privilege of calling my son, the sweet, spirited human I get to spend all of my time with. Thankful, grateful, in total, absolute awe that he is mine. And I am his.

Book Review: Before I Fall

Last week I mentioned on Twitter that I had just finished what might be my favorite YA book of all time, and possibly my favorite book of 2013 so far. And what is this mysterious book called? Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver. Last week I finished up the Delirium trilogy (also by the same author), and because I loved those books so much I thought I would try out her debut novel and see if I liked it too.

Here's the little blurb from Amazon:

What if you only had one day to live? What would you do? Who would you kiss? And how far would you go to save your own life? 

Samantha Kingston has it all: looks, popularity, the perfect boyfriend. Friday, February 12, should be just another day in her charmed life. Instead, it turns out to be her last. 

The catch: Samantha still wakes up the next morning. Living the last day of her life seven times during one miraculous week, she will untangle the mystery surrounding her death—and discover the true value of everything she is in danger of losing.

After I read this I was a little hesitant, thinking it would be an overly-repetitive Groundhog Day type of teen novel; I mean reliving the same day SEVEN times in one book? More than anything I was curious how the author could possibly make that interesting. So I ordered the sample for my Kindle, and got to reading.

The story is told in the voice of Samantha, who is a popular teenager at her high school. The author gets her "teenage voice" spot on, and when I first started reading the sample I wasn't sure if it would get annoying. But it didn't. And as the sample went on, I got hooked, and I had to know what happened next.

That was kind of the theme of the novel for me- I couldn't put it down, and had to see what would happen with every turn of the page (the electronic page?). I finished it in two days. I'm not sure if this book is for everyone- I could see some people thinking it was a bit juvenile, but I LOVED it. I thought that the book was incredibly well-paced, and I found myself getting super invested in the characters because you got just enough of them, at just the right time. It was weird to feel like I evolved right along with Sam- at first I didn't really like her, but by the end I was holding my breath that everything would be okay.

There are all sorts of things going on in the story: suspense, romance, lots of teenage drama. And I'm not sure if this book is for everyone, but it's for me. I related to many parts of it, and oddly enough it had me crying, which is not how I would have pictured my reaction back when reading the sample. But I found SO much inspiration within these pages. It reminded me that life is short, that (most of us) only get one go-round at life, and surprisingly, made me feel incredibly appreciative of my own little world.

I highly, highly recommend this book to you if you are a fan of YA literature, and don't mind the point of a view of a teenage girl who still hasn't quite found her place. Two thumbs up, for sure.

Let me know if you decide to read Before I Fall, and be sure to keep me updated on what you think once you finish it. Enjoy!

image above via Amazon
I used Amazon Affiliate linking in this post.

If you'd prefer to view the book without my affiliate link, feel free to click here instead! :) 

Weekend Links

 Doesn't this image just make you want to get in the car and go on a roadtrip?

My grandpa had this car and it definitely brings back memories. source

Susan over at Fleurishing blog is having THREE giveaways this week. Seriously, head over and check them out! She has a giveaway for everyone: for design lovers, for the mamas, and for the francophiles. Enter one, or enter them all.

I chimed in some marriage advice in this month's issue of Emma Magazine.

THIS TOP! Love. And how great are these state map chalkboards?

Loving this mobile.

Check out Rachel Antonoff's home tour.

Have you ordered any Stickygrams yet? Click here then enter code "FRIEND0IA9" for $2 off your first order.

Enjoyed reading this in-depth review (actually it's more of a study) of Gwenyth Paltrow's new book - It's All Good.

Loved this post on National Parks- and love that first map!

7 awesome female villains in film.

A recipe for DIY Dole Whip. Oh man.

Like coffee? Then check this out. Amazing Father's Day gift too- it's Hank's favorite.

Go check out the new additions to the Petit Joy Vintage shop. They sent me a lovely dress this past week and I'm just in love with that little corner of the internet.

The new season of Switched at Birth is starting soon! And yes, you have full permission to make fun of me for this.

This quote.

Breakfast cheesecake cupcakes. Yum!

What are your thoughts on automated blog sponsorships, either as a blogger or an advertiser? Have you tried out Passionfruit yet?

This strawberry picking post brought back the best memories! We grew up doing this.

Such charming children's art from a new sponsor of mine, the talented Jane Heinrichs.

If a set of pencils could be considered cute, these are them!

Dry drowning? I've never heard of this until today when Jess tweeted the link. So upsetting.

Wishlist: this bag (the perfect summer tote!), these leggings (for Charlie), and this blanket (if only spending $170 on something like this was acceptable, or doable! ha).

3 ways to redesign your life: shedding the excess. 

A long-time favorite blog I love to get lost in. Sarah takes the loveliest photos.

And finally, one more beautiful blog to enjoy.